Learning How To Train
Teaching is both a set of skills and a profession. Teachers learn how to teach. Professional teachers can get graduate degrees in how to teach and no one seems to have a problem with this. Training is another word for teaching but it has the connotation of learning a skill or behavior rather than abstract knowledge. For example, you teach history but you train to be an electrician. You train to be a teacher as well. In many BDSM areas if you use the verb to train, it better be in a specific skill such as using a whip or how to do styles of bondage. If you speak of training a sub or slave the rhetoric can get nasty and trainers of such have bad reputations. You will also get the statements that only a sub/slave’s Dom/Master can train them and everyone else claiming to do so is just a predator looking for easy sex/play or something else equally bad. The odd thing is, not everyone agrees. Leather is very much into education of all sorts and that includes training in how to train a sub or slave. It seems to me to be rather odd that the source of most BDSM activities and idea embraces teaching and training but most of the people who do BDSM reject it. There will be more about that elsewhere.
Despite what many people think, training a slave is a skill or set of skills that anyone can learn. It is not something that all dominant people just instinctively know how to do. How well anyone can do it depends on many factors and being dominant or acting dominant is only one of them. To be very blunt, anyone can with the proper instruction and effort learn the skills including a slave. How well any individual can put them into practice is the real question.
How do you learn them? If you think of learning to train slaves as a series of undergraduate college level degree courses, you want to start in the 200's and go as high as you can/want to go. If you make it to the 400's level of knowledge you will be well beyond the levels most people attain or even know exist because they do not look like what most people think of as slave training. The intro to BDSM books and courses as well as the books about how someone does it in their relationship are your 100 level classes. Unless you start with knowing nothing, skip those books and sources.
To learn the skills, talk to people who do this, read books, web sites, forums on FetLife and elsewhere about how to train and manage consensual slaves. This is what the Consensual Enslavement forum there is about and there are others as well, but few are as specific and direct as this one. You can consider most of this forum to be your 200 or sophomore class level. It is introductory material dealing with learning the field, how things are done and some of the basic language and tools you will use later. It also starts you thinking about how to think about how to do consensual enslavement. Some of the material is more advanced but nothing beyond the 300 or junior level classes. The 400’s or senior level are mostly multi-disciplinary work and study in other fields such as anatomy, biology, psychology, anthropology, neurology, semiotics, history, education theory, cognitive neurology and the list is nearly endless. Some of the material is part of lower level work but the serious study of how things work is beyond the basic level. I am still working on learning what in those areas may be useful and I do not know enough yet to know what that list will contain. I only know the parts of it that have proven to be useful to me. I also read current information about people who do enslavement non-consensually and those who do consensual enslavement badly. Yes, this means I study people who do illegal activities. Why should you read this? First to learn what not to do and second to learn how some things have been done which have worked. People have killed other people with a hammer. This does not make learning how to use a hammer a bad thing. Just do not do bad things with your hammer. Use it to build, not harm others.
On FetLife, search for topics like training, enslavement, consensual enslavement, consensual slavery, slaves and so on and look through the places you find for forums that are more than looking for slave/owner sites or masturbation material. There are places which talk seriously about this but not a lot. Most only talk about relationships. Always read more than you write and read before asking questions. Also, when you find people who seem to know what you want to learn, read their profiles and see what forums they have joined and look at them to see if they interest you or will be helpful to you. Sometimes they will and sometimes they won't. Ask these people questions whether privately or publicly. Ask several people the same question and compare their answers. Get suggestions on books to read and where many people suggest the same ones, read them. Take lots of notes and save source locations and why you want to remember them. Unless you need the knowledge, stay away from the books about BDSM kinky play and how to do it and the intro to BDSM books. If you are here, you are not working in that area or at that level. You are working at a more advanced level where introductory information will not be very useful. Read my essay Finding Sources on Being a Slave. It gives some suggestions on places and things to read about being a slave which also work very well for learning to train slaves.
Think of slave training as defining your goals for the slave first and only later deciding how to get there. Start at the final goal and work back to the intermediate goals which are on the way to the final goal. Keep working back to where you are now. Now you have your roadmap of where you want to go. Defining specific goals rather than general things like she always obeys is harder than most people think...those that even think about it.
Once you have your roadmap you can look at each step and break most of them down into smaller goals to meet on the way there. After one or two levels of this, stop. You can over think it to the point of immobility. Make a chart of these goals and what you will do to get the slave there. Now you need to learn how to get those goals met. What are the skills you need to know? What does the slave need to know? Learn those skills and what to do to get to each of those points until they become internalized as something the slave does and someone they are? This is where the learnable skills come into play.
Subs and slaves have the easiest time because they only need to know what they need to obey and serve. The Doms/Masters must know all of that plus how to get and keep them there That is more than twice the amount of knowledge and yes, a much harder job to do well.
Learning to train a consensual slave means the trainer must first learn how to learn, learn how to teach and then learn what knowledge to teach. Sometimes the best thing you can learn is what does not work or what does not work for how you wish to do your training. You can follow what others have done but always try to understand why they did something and how it works. Do not follow anyone or anything blindly and that includes everything I say or write.
There are books and courses which claim to teach this. I have read some but not all by any means. I will recommend a few sources at the end. Following someone’s cookbook approach to slave training will work to some degree. Learning how to modify the recipe and why some things work together and others do not is even more important. Learn how to think about and understand the subject. Learn how to train the subject. Learn how to train the trainers. That is the path I have been following. Go as far down this rabbit hole of education as you can and wish to go. Most of all, be as safe as you can be while you do this because you are holding someone else’s life in your hands. They have given you their trust to keep them safe. Do not fail them or yourself.
A short, incomplete list of sources at a suggested education level:
All of the Consensual Enslavement forum on FetLife. This is where much of what you are reading now was first posted and it still has useful information on the subject. It is mostly at the introductory level of practical learning with a few more advanced postings.
The consensualenslavement.com website or where you are now. This is what was on FetLife updated, added to and rewritten to some extent. Most of it is still the 200 to 300 level.
Raven Kaldera's book Paradigms of Power: Styles of Master/Slave Relationships. This is the best overview of types of consensual slavery that I know. Each chapter was written by people doing that style. Many of them are posting on FetLife and are usually willing to talk about how they live. (Disclaimer, I wrote one of the chapters.)
Laura Antoniou's The Marketplace series. What is depicted in that series is both good reading and I have never found anything written in there not possible if you allow the existence of the Marketplace organization itself. Pay attention to the tools of training and the things taught to the slaves being trained as well as the theories of training presented in the books. There is also information about what a trainer should know as well. This is as close to real slave training as I have found in fiction. Read them at least twice. The first time for is for the story and the following times is for knowledge.
John Norman’s Assassin of Gor or book five of the Gorean saga. The book mostly takes place in a professional slaver’s house and business. Read it for the training that goes on and pay attention to why they are doing it, not just what. Knowing something of the Gorean forms is useful as a source of tools which do work for training consensual slaves. Perhaps only a quarter of the book deals with how to train but the rest of it makes a fairly good adventure story even if you do not know the background of the characters and world. The rest of the series has useful information as well but it is mostly in background material rather than the main point of any of the books.
Internal Enslavement Essays. These are essays from Tanos’ old Internal Enslavement website. There are links from there to other and newer essays. It is mostly good information and definitely worth reading.
The Restrained Elegance lexicon of slavegirl positions. I am including this as an example of how to think about a topic and break it apart into useful parts. Yes, you can use this for slave positions or for creating your own positions but it is mostly for how to think and describe a topic.
200 - 300 Level:
B.E.S.T. slave Training Guide is one of the older online sources for learning how to train slaves. It is a bit heavier on the BDSM play side and stops mostly at the psychological level of training but it is well worth your time to read and reread it as well as to follow ideas from it.
The Upper Floor: kink.com channel. Yes, this is a porn site but it is more useful than you may think for training tools and techniques. You do have to ignore most of the sex and BDSM pain play but they do things which work as training techniques for consensual enslavement. This is a case where you will need to pick and choose carefully because this is (mostly) scripted video and it works the way they want it to work but with careful study it can be useful.
The Compass of Pleasure: How Our Brains Make Fatty Foods, Orgasm, Exercise, Marijuana, Generosity, Vodka, Learning, and Gambling Feel So Good. by Dr. David Linden. This is a layman’s book written by a neuroscientist about the brain’s pleasure circuit. This is one of the ways to use science to enhance and reenforce the training of the consensual slave. I said that biology and neurology were at the advanced level. This is your start in the field and it is a very enjoyable book to read. This is an NPR review based on a Fresh Air interview with Dr. Linden.
The Biderman Report or COMMUNIST ATTEMPTS TO ELICIT FALSE CONFESSIONS FROM AIR FORCE PRISONERS OF WAR BY ALBERT D. BIDERMAN, M.A. Presented at a combined meeting of the Section on Neurology and Psychiatry with the New York Neurology Society at The New York Academy of Medicine. November 13, 1956. as part of a Panel Discussion on Communist Methods of Interrogation and Indoctrination. This report is based on work done under ARDC Project No. 7733, Task 77314, in support of the research and development program of the Air Force Personnel and Training Research Center, Lackland Air Force Base, Texas. This report was used for the military and especially the US Air Force escape and evasion training to counter somewhat effective brainwashing techniques use against captured pilots and service men by North Korea and the Chinese during the Korean War.
The techniques in this report were effective and underlie many consensual enslavement techniques used unknowingly by most BDSM and M/s practitioners. They are used mostly without any knowledge of this report. This is one of the examples where science explains why things work or at least is a starting point for such explanations. These techniques can and have been used by people doing illegal enslavement.
“Perfect Victim: The True Story of the Girl in the Box” by Christine McGuire. This is a story of the illegal seven-year enslavement of a young woman. It is also an example of Biderman’s findings in action during a non-military and a non-consensual BDSM setting. The perpetrator did study how to enslave someone but there is no proof that he ever read the Biderman report. The psychologist for the prosecution listed the things done to the victim and it reads like this list from the Biderman report. The method of enslavement did work for seven years. This is a source to learn from, not repeat. It should be read only after you read the Biderman Report. There are also a few videos and a movie based on what happened. While the videos are interesting the book is much more informative.
A short, incomplete list of terms to watch for and research:
• Autism Spectrum
• Evolutionary Psychology
• Internal Enslavement
• Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs
• Pair Bonding
• Rule of Threes
• Stockholm Syndrome
At this point I am not going further than I have previously mentioned as to the areas to study. I will return to this and update it. The above list of search topics extends into the 400 level.
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