How To Not Gain Experience
The worst way to gain experience is the way most people do it. You proclaim yourself a Master and go looking for a slave to own or you proclaim yourself a slave and go looking for a Master to own you. I will break both of those apart because while they are similar problems, they are not identical.
Many people find out about consensual enslavement and decide that they want someone to serve them and with whom to have lots and lots of sex, possibly kinky sex. The thought becomes, "I gotta get me one of them." Usually they want a slave in the worst way and if they manage to get one, it is usually in the worst way. There are too many people who confuse thinking they are dominant, or male or even abusive and think that is all it takes to master a slave. This leads to three probable outcomes. The first is very poor master who usually loses his slave. The second is physical and/or mental abuse of the slave. The third is that the relationship, if it manages to continue, does so as an ordinary relationship with nothing or nothing much left of consensual enslavement. The level of submission and enslavement is also usually very shallow, at best.
Most new owners will either take any slave who will have them or will hold out for the type of slave they read about or watch in various forms of porn. They want the porn star who will do anything they want no matter what it is or who they are. Most of the time they want the latter but settle for the former.
Yes, there can always be exceptions and exceptional people. There are people who seem to have a natural ability to enslave and master others. Anyone who assumes they are such a person is almost invariably wrong. Most of these people can’t explain why what they do works, only what they do and that it works for them. How to master a slave is something that can be learned by anyone capable of learning it. How well these skills and knowledge can put into practice depends on the individual. Most do not learn much or well and fail to put all that they learn into practice.
Many of those who want to be a slave start out learning about being a slave through romance stories of Masters falling in love with their slave and the rapturous feelings of the slave, who usually becomes the lover and wife of her Master. It is the relationship and the romance of enslavement that they are looking for. They want the Mister, not the Master. They are looking for love more than service. Yes, such women will serve until they can convince their Master to be their lover and convert the relationship from consensual enslavement to an ordinary one.
The greatest problem with this sort of slave is that they will be taken by someone whose only idea of enslavement is being abusive. This happens too often. A person does not really learn to be a slave in this situation. At best, they learn a few of the skills being a slave and how to serve a specific person as well as how to keep from being hurt, injured or even killed. Yes, all those things, regretfully, have happened.
Many slaves keep switching owners looking for someone who knows what they are doing and will be good for them, as well as, usually, love them. The conflict between ownership and love has probably caused the breakup of more consensual slavery relationships than anything else that I have seen. Abuse is second. I discuss what I mean by abuse in consensual enslavement and what it entails elsewhere.
Currently, most people search out their slaves or owners on the internet. Many start out with role playing it in various places online. This is common for BDSM and Gorean groups. I have read that at one-point Gorean role players made up the largest sub-group on SecondLife. Online role playing is one way some people get or claim experience with consensual enslavement. Yes, some experience can be gained this way. The problem is translating what little knowledge is really gained in these places to living as Master and slave. Most online enslavement is only in word and action with no to little depth to it.
Once again, some things can be learned and some people can go to surprising depths working only online. It does not and will not ever go to the depths of enslavement possible when an owner has their slave kneeling at their feet. Most people, however, do not learn at any great depth. They stop at the easy, superficial level and never go further and never do anything except play online until they get tired of the game and go elsewhere and play a new game. The bad part is when these people claim a reality they do not live and confuse people who do not know the difference or are unable to identify who is real and who is just playing. This makes online play, at best, a poor way to gain experience.
Most people who succeed in finding a consensual slavery relationship do manage to learn something. The traditional "School of Hard Knocks". Some people eventually learn enough to have a successful consensual slavery relationship. They succeed, finally, the hard way and usually with harm and pain to others along the way. Everyone will make mistakes. If you learn from them, this is good. If you don't, obviously it is bad.
In the end, the worst way to gain experience is to assume you already know how to do what you want to do and don't need anyone or anything to tell you differently. If you are instantly an expert or an expert after a quick read of something or watching some online porn, you have learned nothing and will fail and probably harm others. I wish I could say that is only true for those who seek to own another, but it is not. It applies to both but the chances for actual harm and damage are more common from the dominant side, not the submissive side.
All material written and © Copyright 2018 by Malkinius unless otherwise noted.
For permission to quote or repost contact Malkinius at firstname.lastname@example.org.