Thoughts For New Trainers
The first piece of advice given to new trainers is often don't try it. You will fuck it up. You will fail.
Someone who is training in being submissive will never be 100% obedient. They may be mostly so over a short period of time but it will not last. There are many books and web sites that will tell you how to do things with her. Some things will work or seem to work. Most of it will not and you will probably have no clue what works or doesn't work. Even if something does work for someone else it may not work for you and your slave. Just because I can do something doesn't mean you can do it. Also, you have no clue what really works or is just wishful thinking, porn of some sort or real information unless you are willing to put in the time to learn.
I will give you a few simple pointers that you will go, "But they are obvious!" you will say. Yes, they are. But did you already think of them and plan how to implement them? If you haven’t, then they weren’t so obvious, were they?
- • Study before doing.
- • Envision the best and worst that will happen from EVERYTHING you plan to do.
- • Do not do 90% of what you think of doing.
- • Start smaller than you think you should.
- • Go MUCH slower than you and especially than she wants to go.
- • Start with my first line of this essay as your base assumption and plan to fix the damage you will cause before you do anything.
- • Remember that you have to know EVERYTHING you expect her to know before you teach it to her. I am talking about things she does as a sub or slave, not general skills like cooking or driving a car.
- • She is doing this for you not because you are so dominant. You aren't. There will always be someone more dominant and better at this than you. Or than me for that matter.
- • There is nothing you do that should not be part of the training. Your training mode should always be on.
- • This is not a part time or play time thing if you want 100% obedience.
- • Never train for failure or with the intent to punish.
- • Always give commands that can be done UNLESS it is strictly for training.
- • BDSM porn is usually a poor guide for play and a bad guide for real training, except in what not to do. The only exception to that is in variations on techniques you can safely do that you may not have thought of.
- • Set your expectations much lower in practice than in theory. What you say you expect will be higher than what you will accept in the short run. One step and level at a time rather than all or nothing.
- • Never be anything but totally honest with her. Never lie. You may not say something but never ever lie.
- • And one last thing. Rethink why you are doing this and then why she is doing this. If you don't like what it makes you if you are brutally honest about yourself and why you are doing this, don't do it. If you are doing this for any reasons that are primarily sexual, don't do it.
Other than the above, if you want 100% obedience you are talking about a slave, not a sub. If you are not willing to spend the time and effort leaning what to do, you have already failed and not worth the time anyone may have spent with you. Just in this essay, you have more than I started with many years. Make good use of it and in time, write down your own and pass it on.