Finding Sources On Being A Slave
The following is a question posted on FetLife that I answered, saved and have reworked. It is a question many people who believe that they wish to become someone’s slave have, but few ask. The answers will help anyone wanting to master a slave as well.
Question: What are good resources to learn or read to learn about being a total slave to someone?
There is no single path or simple guide to doing this. Many people will say you don’t need to learn anything up front. All you need is someone who will teach you everything you need or they want you to know. That may be true for some but not all. This for those who wish to learn or decide first if consensual slavery is the path they wish to follow.
The core concept is simple. It can be summed up in five sentences.
• The Master commands and the slave obeys.
• The Master does and the slave accepts.
• The slave always gets the last words which are, “Yes Master.”
• Don't be stupid.
• The rest is details.
Finding those details is a large part of why this is here.
There is no single source or list that will be best for everyone. There are, however, ways of reducing the list to those that will or will not be helpful. Make notes of what sources or books you find and what seems interesting or useful as well as what does not, then use that list to decide what to read first, and perhaps what to remove later. Do not limit your research to only slave centric sources. Information for those who would master a slave will be useful too.
You start with the books which are not helpful for THIS search which include any books about BDSM in general or about how to do various sorts of kinky play. While this eliminates many very good and useful books, a book about how to tie people up or use a flogger on them is not directly relevant to learning to become someone’s slave.
Next is to remove most of the BDSM fiction and porn (with a couple of exceptions for later) or books which are first person accounts of being a slave or Master. You can come back to these later. But if something jumps out at you and you really want to read it, go ahead and indulge. There are two exceptions to the rule about fiction. The first is Laura Antoniou's “The Marketplace” series. What is depicted in that series is not only good reading but I have never found anything in there not possible if you allow for the existence of the Marketplace organization and the large supply of people who want to be slaves in that style. That is not true of most of BDSM and M/s fiction.
After that, that, if you should decide to travel the Gorean path to slavery, read the Gor books. Start with book one, “Tarnsman of Gor” and keep reading until you finish all of them. The reason for that is in the content. Goreans use some of the culture in the books in addition to the philosophy of living when they take on a slave. They also will help you with the knowledge of what is there so that you will have a clue if someone says they are Gorean, or not, or if they are telling you something that resembles the truth.
The Gor books lead into the third part which is what I call the traditions. The two biggest are Leather and Gorean with people involved in Leather being by far the most numerous. The easiest to find information about is the Leather tradition. Should you want to follow the Leather tradition and way of being a slave, read books by Leathermen about how they do it and the history, traditions and protocols of Leather. Read a little bit and see if it is something you want to pursue. Following traditions such as Leather or Gorean is an option and if you choose it you will need to go to those groups for more detailed information.
Fourth is to look for non-fiction books that include slave either in the title or description. Yes, there are some good ones without that word in either place but we are trying to narrow it down and that means there are some useful books which will be excluded. The very best overview of types of consensual slavery is Raven Kaldera's book Paradigms of Power: Styles of Master/Slave Relationships. It is the best and only book I know of on just this subject. Each chapter is about how different people live a Master/slave relationship by the people who live it. Many of the people involved can be found on FetLife and are usually willing to talk about what they do and how they do it. You just need to ask. (Disclaimer: I wrote one of the chapters.)
Fifth is to read the books by the "Old Masters". I am thinking of Robert J. Rubel, Guy Baldwin, Jack Rinella, Raven Kaldera and others which you will see listed if you browse those authors on places like Amazon. You will also find other people recommended when looking at those authors and spread out from there for what looks useful to you. Some books/authors will be more useful for one person than others. You do not need to read everything each person has written. Get an overview first and then go deeper.
Sixth is to read M/s specific websites and forums on FetLife that seem to be about what you are looking for. Read the profiles of the people who you either like or who you believe know what they are talking about. Go to their lists of forums they subscribe to and browse them for what looks interesting and useful to you. You will find certain common forums which many such people subscribe to. Read before you ask questions. Too many people start off with a question in a forum without really understanding what has been said and how to properly do it there. Read much more than you write while you get a feel of what is out there. Most threads will be only marginally useful but the more you read and learn the more you can learn as well as learning what you want to do and be. You will also learn what you do not want to be or do. Regretfully, if you say you are new and wanting to learn and especially if you are female, this is raw meat dropped into the pool of sharks. When you post something, do not make your question look like an ad searching for a Master. That is not allowed in many forums. Ask one or two simple questions that are on topic for the forum and give time for answers to be given. This may take a day or more to get really useful information but it often will come. Ask your questions only after you have done other research. This way you will have a better idea whose comments are more useful to you and who to avoid. You will need a pretty thick skin at times, but you can grow it.
Seventh, depending on where you live, if you want learn more without working with a specific person, there are offline meetings and seminars you can attend. While I have not been to them, reports from those who have recommend the ones run by Tainos and Butchman's. Both have been doing these seminars and training for years and have pretty good reputations. You can also find MAST or Master And Slave Together groups in some areas and check out their meetings. You will find much more useful information about being a slave there than at most munches and general BDSM meetings and classes.
Eighth and last is to privately talk to people and ask if they will answer your questions. Ask the same questions of multiple people and compare their answers. The more the answers overlap the more likely you are to have good information. You can also learn what not to do and who you do not want to do this with or what you do not want to be from your reading and asking questions. Learning what not to do is as important as learning what to do and it keeps you much safer in the long run.
I saw a comment recently about people who want to learn first and do later. There comes a point of diminishing returns. Your amount of knowledge will increase but you will still not have the knowledge of experiencing it. The time must come to put down the books and go out and do. You will never know enough or be ready enough. Accept that now and get on with it. I will end with the end of a popular Gorean quote. “...do not ask how to live, but, instead, proceed to do so”
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